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Parenting, Children & Overwhelm

Parenting children who are even considered to be children who display the best child behavior is typically overwhelming at times for just about every parent.

The fact is that parenting children occasionally challenges us with situations that test us to our core.  Your child's behavior will demand that you come up against the limitations of your power to easily deal with it, at times.

The most severe form of trial occurs, obviously, when you are the parent of a child whose health suffers, the most extreme being when the child passes.  The most common way that parenting children feels overwhelming occurs when confronting a challenging child behavior. 

Here are some common examples of when parenting children begins to feel overwhelming:

• Parenting children begins to feel overwhelming when your child incessantly demands your attention

• Parenting children begins to feel overwhelming when your child deliberately behaves in ways that he anticipates will bother you

• Parenting children begins to feel overwhelming when your child stubbornly makes unreasonable or impossible demands

• Parenting children begins to feel overwhelming when your child argues emotionally and irrationally

• Parenting children begins to feel overwhelming when your child appears to intentionally treat another child or a pet in a cruel manner

• Parenting children begins to feel overwhelming when your child relates with you as a mere plaything or lackey supposed to do his bidding rather than a person worthy of his utmost respect, consideration and care

• Parenting children begins to feel overwhelming after a long day of giving your relationship with that child everything you have, only to find that your child has left a mess to clean up   

When parenting children begins to feel overwhelming, remember this: the child is NOT the cause of our sense of overwhelm.  Imposing a demand, expectation or standard upon OURSELVES that we cannot live up to is the cause.

Additionally, when you express overwhelm in response to your child's behavior, the child derives from that a sense of power over you that encourages her to continue or to repeat the child behavior that prompted your reaction.

The first step to overcoming overwhelm is to distinguish between your child's behavior and your reaction. You are responsible for your responses. Life really only seems too hard because you are stressing yourself out in an unbalanced effort to establish control.

The next step is to apply the awareness and self-control you need to maintain your peace, poise and power in the present so that you can align your responses with the results you want instead of reacting in blind frustration. 



When dealing with your child's behavior feels too hard, it's time to take it easier, to trust, to let go, to lighten up.  Stepping up the pressure on yourself makes you blow up, it does not help your child grow up. Remember this principle of parenting children with sanity: you cannot instill better self-control in a child while you are losing yours.     

If you found this article on parenting, children & overwhelm helpful, Bob Lancer's full length book, Parenting With Love, Without Anger or Stress will surely be a book you will love.