18 Keys To Solving Child Behavior Problems 1. Solving behavior problems begins by being charge of yourself. When your child "makes" you react stressfully, your child is in charge. 2. You are100% responsible for your response to even the most challenging child behavior. You can learn how to be more effective with less stress if you remain committed to doing so. 3. You will begin more easily solving behavior problems when you make it your top priority to develop the self-control to maintain your peace and poise at all times; when you lose your peace and poise you lose your power. 4.When you lose your patience, you lose more time, because your frustration actually prevents you from soloving your child's behavior problem. You need to feel basically calm to access your own best solutions. 5.You cannot instill better self-control in a child while you are losing yours. Children become like those they spend time with. A child's behavior problem can often be viewed as a reflection of an parent's behavior problem. 6.To improve your results with child discipline avoid focusing so much on what the child is doing that you overlook how your actions and reactions contribute to the problems that you face. 7.By degrees equals ease. Be satisfied with making small steps of improvement in your way of dealing with child behavior, and celebrate even small improvements in the child behavior that your child displays. If you insist on making big change fast, you end up so frustrated that you might just give up. 8.How you think of a child functions as a self-fulfilling prophesy. Your child is not responsible for how you think of him or her. Your mind and how you use it are your responsibility. Discipline yourself to reject thoughts of child behavior that you do not want. Persistently think of your child as a glorious person with limitless potential and you will see that thought materializing. 9.Regard your attitude toward your child as a cause, not as an effect, of the child behavior that you face. The attitude that you express toward your child influences how your child feels and behaves. As you improve your attitude toward your child, behavior problems may actually melt away. 10. Trying to improve a child's behavior by doing nothing more than increasing the harshness of your reaction is like adding more and more salt to improve your cooking, no matter how salty the outcome tastes. Child behavior problems result from being too severe or too lax. 11.Even the child who does not seem to listen to you, hears you. You talk your child into behaving the way you tell him that he behaves. Therefore, keep your complaints and criticisms to a minimum and replace them with positive statements that describe the child behavior that you want to see. 12.There is no such thing as "a difficult child". The child you find difficult to deal with is merely pointing out the areas that you need to develop your knowledge and ability to acheive better results and more easioly solve the behavior problems you face. As you fulfill your higher potential you automatically achieve
more satisfying results with any child. 13.Reacting with anger, stress, pleading, arguing, yelling … these represent the most ineffective modes of parenting children and lead to worsening child behavior. As a general rule any way of leading your child that is unhealthy and unhappy is going to produce more behavior problems than it solves. 14.The better you connect with your child, the better you direct your child. Your child needs to feel truly cared about by you to be able to respectfully cooperate with you and avoid developing behavior problems. 15.You will find what you seek. Look for what the child is doing wrong and find that. Look for what the child is doing right and find that. Your emotional state determines your perspective. Avoid analyzing child behavior problems when you feel stressed out or annoyed with your child. 16. Allowing yourself to become fatigued guarantees that you slip into negativity. (When you work yourself too hard you push good humor away.) Then you begin relating impatiently with your child, which incites your child's unhappiness and resistance to your directions. 17.Ultimately you have to trust that you can treat yourself well and get away with it, because if you do not treat yourself well you certainlywill not get away with that. As you bring more joy into parenting you will encounter a diminishment of child behavior problems. 18. Trust that you really can improve the ways that you parent your child to improve child behavior and avoid or solve child behavior problems, because doubting that you can succeed can do nothing but help you to fail. 
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